That they are friends. Again I think there is more to this story. He was in constant contact with me, video calls etc. Everyone here will tell you the BS is powerless when it comes to the M and the CS. He had ended just a few hours before but also told me he wanted a D the same day. 1. There may be many OW not just the one he is no longer talking to. of course not. You have every right to decide what YOUR life should look like. Just letting you know I know when things dont add up. DO NOT mention the A or EA or whatever he is doing. I think to myself that I know he sees me in a different light than he sees her, I know the type of woman I am, and the type of woman that she seems to be, and I cannot comprehend WHAT it is about her that he was willing to risk it all. I believe when he says he loves me, I do know he does. I know there is no right way to do this, but gosh I feel like my life is just in SUCH limbo I dont even know if I should invite him places or tell him plans I have as far as this weekend bc im just so afraid of pushing him away. Boo Frickin Hoo! You tell him that you have noticed that he is not willing to be a family. Is that stupid? You are tired of living in limbo. He eventually cut her off and I went back to him (well after falling off the deep end, booze drugs, sex and even tried out a relationship). B/c he was planning on leaving me. We are still together b/c he realized at the last possible second I was leaving him. And one day if this continues you will throw in the towel on him. I am sorry you are suffering through this. Im a couple weeks late to this conversation, but have you considered telling him to stay home with the baby one night because you have plans? I made sure he knew if he sat at the dinner table with me and children it was a privilege and a gift and dont count on it. At that time, 18 months ago, He walked into rehab wanting to win his wife back and he walked out with a girlfriend. I dont know where his head is right now, I dont know if hes leaning towards divorce, but I do think hes still talking to original OW and im sure she pushed that. But im afraid that if I let him go again, he will finally be done and not try. But its also a part of life, schedules, things going on that we should be a part of TOGETHER. What have I done here?. I was the work person, telling him to come home, help, clean, etc. doing whatever he wants. I dont know. He was getting out. It comes first. He cannot believe he even said that to me. Of course I was very unprepared for the ILYBNILWY speech a few days later and demand for a D a week after DDay1. You can only save your M and live happily ever after if one of two things happens; 1. I proved in a crisis I will be strong and level headed and calm and make good decisions. He told me the standard line love you but not in love with you and all that crap that goes along with it. but are separated now and she moved out to find her self. I certainly included that in there, as well. Surely her life was more important my jealousy. You get a % of his pay for alimony and child support. WebMidlife Crisis: When The Fog Lifts, What Happens Next If your partner is going through a midlife crisis, youre probably anxious for signs that theyre coming out of midlife crisis He says he knows he was wrong and he wishes he had never even given in to affair, etc, but that he felt unappreciated in our marriage and wishes he had spoken up. You have tried everything you could. If you are telling me how perfect our marriage is and how happy you are and you are cheating I think that says a lot about the cheater. Forgiveness takes a long time. When I decided to go back to him I told myself I have forgiven him and chosen to trust him. I think you may have been the best thing to happen to me right now. We live as roommates. So sorry for you. He says hes not, he says its so hard, but he seems totally fine, whereas I pretend to be fine but im falling apart inside. Thank you for another dose of great advice. Yet he did nothing towards trying to restore the M. He would be nice here and there but then cold, distant and non-communicative other times. It blows my mind honestly. I really hope I have done whats right. I fought for our marriage with dignity and respect and with my head held high. So I was alone with my counselor. I think you did the best thing given the options you had. Talk about feeling like a major sap! That is how far our dynamics have changed. But yet he is still living the single Life (somewhat) by handing out in the bars with people you dont know, you are not invited or included and he puts very little effort towards your feelings. I hope you can get there. But we all know that bars, single men and women (out without their spouses or significant others) and alcohol can be a lethal mix of temptation and possibly more. Think of the affair like an addiction. You barely communicate. Just this past weekend, Saturday night he said he was going for drinks with a friend and would be home by 8. Even though I know right now I have every right to if I want to, to see if im being lied to and kick his ass out, but I just am again, TRYING to stick to this 180, and if I can stick to it and somehow show him with my actions that I am doing my own thing, maybe he will become curious.

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